Ruskie Froggies

Trotsky mused as he walked towards the Volga .The Ruskies always knew that the Styx was just a Greek myth, to get to the Russian Underworld , you had to cross the Volga. His butler , Xanthus walked behind him , rather annoyed at his master’s antics . Trotsky was wearing the guise of Peter the Great . Ever since Stalin had taken over , Karl Marx had been coming in his dreams and informed him that he needed to bring back a great Russian novelist from the underworld and only they could create a drama intense enough to dislodge the myth that was Stalin . He had just met his good friend Vladimir Lenin , who had suggested taking the route across the Volga. So the duo had been traveling for the last several days and now they would have to cross the Volga in a special boat at a special time . The boatman named Charon came in a silver boat right at the time of the Aurora Borealis , the sky lit up with shades of green, the frogs danced in anticipation croaking happily , a sign perhaps that they were in heat but Trotsky having read Aristophanes knew that the croaking of the Frogs


was a good sign.

Charon looked at Xanthas scornfully ,”No slaves are allowed here ” . Poor Xanthas looked disgustedly at Trotsky and started walking around to the nearest bridge. Charon looked gleefully at Trotsky and gave him the oar to row. Trotsky looked in horror while Charon sat down and pulled out his cuban, “So you believe in the working class , don’t you, now do some real work , row us across” . A disgruntled Trotsky protested but the whip came out and started singing , Trotsky started rowing to the rhythm of the whip cracking on his back.

Once they reached the underworld , Trotsky proudly proclaimed his achievements , creator of Trotskyism . Cerberus the three headed dog came rushing out , promptly ran Trotsky screaming for Plutus  who disturbed by the screams came out and recognized Trotsky and stopped Cerberus.

Plutus listened to Trotsky and liked his idea of a debate between the great Russian novelists and promptly bought up Leo Tolstoy and Fyodor Dostoevsky

Dostoevsky: What would Tolstoy know ? He is a rich count who worked with the high and mighty , me , I wrote notes from the underground in prison, I understand the common man

Tolstoy : I wrote War and Peace and Anna Karenina after spending time in the army with regular soldiers , how would I not know the common man?

Dostovsky: You are a prude !! you damaged women’s psyche permanently by writing Anna Karenina . You have done Women’s lib a great disservice .  A woman who strays from home loses her son and ends up killing herself ignominiously. When was the last time that a man’s transgressions were punished?

Tolstoy : You are a pervert . You had no trouble showing father and son sharing the same woman , Fyodor and Dmitry Karamazov lusting after Grushenka. That is just disgusting. And Raskolnikov killing an old woman just because he wants to. Your characters are not creatures of the real world but ghastly caricatures

Dostovsky: Ovid tells us that clearly, that men would sleep with any woman who is not mother , sister or daughter so why are you so shocked? As for Raskolnikov , he foreshadows the darkness that lies within all of us .

Tolstoy: Your grand Inquisitor dialogue with Ivan reeks of heresy and raises questions that are dangerous for stable society.

Dostoevsky: Oh you mean , one should have nice happy endings like War and Peace . You glorify War in 200+ pages in War and Peace

Tolstoy: It is to give people a good idea of the uselessness of war.

Trotsky: Bravo , Bravo (turning to Plutus) , I think I am going to take Count Tolstoy back with me . He is not an anarchist , nor does he raise uncomfortable questions like Fyodor here .

Plutus : I agree!!!

Trotsky came back to the wrong side of the river looking at the white bearded Tolstoy proudly as he came to the Volga waiting for Charon , the boatman. Hopefully there is still hope for Russia


This is inspired(copied) by The Frogs by Aristophanes  . I have obviously taken heavy liberties with both Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, in the same vein as Aristophanes did with Euripides and Aeschylus .


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